Upcoming (Mis)Adventures

I have a few recipes in mind for the upcoming week and will try them soon, but I thought I’d share a couple of laughs and musings with ya’ll before I really get started on them (Or: Before things really get out of hand).

Last night I made some honey-glazed chicken and bacon bites. These things are freakin’ awesome and they aren’t time consuming. If you’re like me you cringe when you have to touch raw chicken (ugh) …but I got past it for these.

What’s even worse is you have to wrap the bacon around the chicken strips. And let me tell you, handling two pieces of slippery meat and trying to put them together is no easy task. I have a gutter-mind and as I was trying to accomplish this it was almost too much for me. The jokes just write themselves, eh?

I also made mashed taters (that turned out lumpy even though I used the potato pusher thingy, I forget what it’s called) and some cheddar biscuits. Chicken, bacon, cheddar biscuits, and taters. I know you think I’m asking for heart failure, but you didn’t taste this shit.

For this week I’m going to try:

  • Comeback Sauce – My first thoughts on this one were, oh it’s the sauce that’s making a comeback aha!. Then, after reading about it, I readjusted that thought to, OH I get it. You “comeback” for the sauce. The name aside, I’m hoping it tastes like Chick-Fil-A sauce, which is crack to me now. (I used to be crazy about the nuggets themselves, now they’re just sauce-boats.)
  • Peanut Butter Balls, or Buckeyes – I think people get a little peeved by the naming of these…that they aren’t named properly or some such thing. Names, again. Yeesh. Anywho, seems simple enough, but again the recipe has things in lbs. and when I see that I die a little inside. I never have things in quantities of pounds, and I can’t get away with hiding them sufficiently enough when there are so goddamn many of them. I’ll cut the recipe and see. I have to make a trip to the store anyway, for cake paraffin wax. Already I know I’m in trouble.
  • And finally, Toasted Ravioli and Marinara – Easy peasy recipe, but there’s frying in oil involved. That’s when things get risky around here. I’m looking forward to this one the most I think.

Hopefully this week will allow for this much (mis)adventure baking, but we’ll see. Doctor’s appt (the girly kind), Shakespeare midterm, and so much reading are the big hitters this week.

Til’ then!

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Ridiculous Pinterest

I just had to blog about this…so bear with me while I ponder the ridiculousness of some pinterest pins.

It’s a free for all when you hit the “everything” button, and lots of them are repeats, but one thing remains the same. You never know what some people come up with.

I just saw a photography post on a cute baby photo…in a bowl of cereal. The description was to have a photo with the baby and the food you craved the most during that pregnancy.

Cute idea, right? Maybe if you had really pretty food for cravings. If you have ever been around a pregnant woman though, you would know that this is seldom the case.

My sister had cravings for barbecue and potatoes during her first pregnancy. I’m not sure how that photoshoot would go down.

So seriously, I get the whole DIY every imaginable thing. Maybe this idea works for somebody (the chick with the froot loops addiction…).

I’m keeping my eye out for more ridiculous pinterest pins. I’m sure it won’t be long.

Adventures in Baking: The first of many to come!

Recently I discovered Pinterest, thanks to my sister (who has to retain her sanity somehow, alone at the house with two little boys) and it’s got me acting all nest-y and stuff. Even though I have no reason to “nest” or anything like that.

Pinterest, as I see it, is a site that lets you bookmark stuff without actually bookmarking it on your browser. Pinterest has “boards” that you “pin” stuff to while adhering to certain categories and such. Most of my pins are food and clothes. It seems a popular place for brides to pin favorite wedding ideas and things. Young moms and teachers are also popular there. Really it’s a veritable wealth of DIY and pretty things. Some are a bit thinspo and fitness-y, which I ignore…but whatever.

That being said, I have a huge food board. Lots of recipes from people who take mouthwatering pictures of their food and blog about the recipe step by step. There isn’t a healthy dish on that board and if it so happens to be healthy I will find a way to change it, believe me.

What I find though is that with many of these recipes the quantity is set to feed an army (I picture their stereotypical husband and three kids with vacuums for mouths) or are for parties that they throw with their equally stereotyped friends. That’s fine and all guys. I can halve and quarter to my hearts content. The downside of doing so is that it doesn’t always turn out they way the pretty picture looks. (Yeesh, with their fancy cameras, how could it?)

It’s funny actually how much I end up screwing everything. For instance, take the iced coffee recipe. Seems simple and all when you read through and feast your eyes on the photo-ops, but for someone in a small town with not all the necessary items or containers (ugh) it’s not all coffee-colored-rainbows and caffeine-butterflies.

The recipe calls for 8 (fucking eight) quarts of water and a whole bag of coffee. Jesus, this woman is an addict was my first thought. No problem though…just half it. Easy-peasy.

It has to steep overnight or 8 hours? Alllrighty then. So much for instant gratification. Too bad I forgot about it the next day, sitting on the counter in a huge jug…liquid gold! After a while I began to wonder if there was such a thing as cold-brewing for too long. Shit, I don’t know these things. I don’t even order iced coffee at Starbucks! (I’m a passion tea lemonade gal, myself)

Welp. I have to strain it. Calls for a fine strainer and some cheesecloth. Wtf, cheesecloth? Long ago I thought this stuff was actually made from cheese. Would make the coffee taste a leeetle different, yes? Of course, none in sight at my local walmart or any other grocery/kitchen/whatever store. That’s all good…because coffee filters! Yes!

No. Because the container I was straining into didn’t hold the little strainer I had well, and the coffee filters made for sloooow going. Too late, I realized I could have transferred the unstrained liquid to the other container which did fit the strainer, but I was already a third of the way through. (I sabotage myself frequently) So I had to stand over the two containers slowly feeding the coffee through bits at a time. Needless to say I pulled up and chair and the mom and I discussed romance novels.

Wasn’t a bad experience after all. The next morning I was so excited and raring to go try my coffee. Since I hate having the little sugar granules or other such sugar substitute floating at the bottom of the coffee not quite mixed it (which inevitably leads to a SUPER SWEET last few sips) I decided to use sweetened condensed milk. I see those words and I say it in Mary from the movie Mary and Max’s voice. If you haven’t seen that movie you really should.

Oh by the way SCM doesn’t like to mix with coffee either. I got little pearls of it with each sip of cold coffee. The mom had a great idea and just frothed it up with a hand mixer and we added some chocolate and BAM MUH’FUCKAS a vanilla mocha coffee thingy! Success! I can’t really enjoy it on my early hour drive to school though…because. erm. it’s coffee ya know? (Sets things in motion, if you get my drift)

Stay tuned for more of me being stupid with recipes. And some truly successful ones, I promise.

Here’s the recipe I tried.

Pretty, isn't it?