An open letter to the lowlife in my hometown who may or may not have internet access

Hey, person who put gum on the inside of my mother’s car door handle.

I’ve been terribly ill and wiping my nose constantly. Recently there has been a change in the mucus dribbling out; it’s gone from a light greenish-yellow to a slightly thicker dark yellow.

Oh, and I’ve been driving the car, since it’s been raining and mom doesn’t like to drive in the rain. I’m pretty sure the handle has had it’s fair share.

Enjoy, motherfucker!

 

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