High Schooler’s Self-Importance Syndrome

(Also applies to college students, albeit in different ways)

It’s been 6 years since I’ve been out of high school (thank the gods for that). I’m feeling it ya’ll. The gap? It’s widening.

You’ve seen it, I’m sure, when you go out to Wal-Mart in a small town and encounter the numerous roaming packs of gigglers and gruff-talkers (rural truck boys I’m talking about you). I see it every time I run to the store after 10 pm. They apparently have no where else to go at this time of a school night. There even used to be a unspoken reserved plot of parking lot for the circle-jerk of souped up trucks, complete with wrangler jean-clad boys and their respective tight plaid get-up girlfriends and paramours. That’s a summer thing I think, though. Now in the dead of winter they walk in with the standard ugg/sweatpant (or shorts, yeesh) outfit.

I write this begrudgingly because I used to be one, a band-geek if you will, and look back on those days with shame and trepidation (lest I should stumble upon something that makes me cringe, again and again). A couple days ago a friend, now in the air force as a mechanic, wrote on his Facebook about seeing a gaggle of band geeks in the store and apologizing if he ever behaved as ghastly as they did. “Were we this bad?” he said.

Yes. Yes we were.

I saw a young couple cutting through the baby-stuff aisle (dangerous, I know huh?) and they were basically falling over each other. My first thoughts were “aw, so cute (gag please).” My second thoughts were “ugh why do I have to see this? Contain your young and impulsive need to be seen!” Then when I passed by them, I thought, “hey, let them think that they’re being scandalous in the diaper aisle of a small town WalMart on a Saturday night, soon they’ll be sucked into the real world.” And after that, there’s no going back.

Disconnect

I let Facebook know of my recent descent into vampirism: mainly how I am shunning the day for long hours spent roaming around skyrim with mage hands and watching Studio Ghibli movies and reading ASoIaF as fast as I can. I feel like I should be saying how sorry I am that I am able to do this, but really I’m just happy as a clam (a clam tucked up into pajamas and flufflies).

I roped my mom into it too, though she’s only playing Bingo on a horribly stingy Facebook app and providing a warm side leg for the cats.

We occasionally venture out to Starbucks and hiss at the sun.

So there’s my current state. I only made the list for the Spring textbooks today and soon I have to enter reality again. After New Year’s Day of course. I’ll be ringing in 2012 the sci-fi or fantasy style.

Reader’s Coma (and then panic…)

A few times in my life I have had the luxury of spending almost ALL of my time reading. Even fewer times have I been able to stay up almost all night reading.

One of those times was last night. I just finished the Inheritance Cycle (Eragon, Eldest, Brisingr, Inheritance) by Christopher Paolini. I’m one of those people that if I get past the big-bad-bitch/boss (no matter what time of day) in a book, game, series, whatever, I have to see the end through. Right then and there. Much to my chagrin, however, I noticed in the corner of my dimly lit kindle that I was only 83 %or 85% through with the book. Durn!

Of course, there was a ton of loose ends to tie up, and then the name dictionary (elven, dwarven, human, even nomad, which we didn’t get to see…) and then the author’s note. He did what all kind and non-ruthless authors (unlike someone we know whose initials are GRRM) and said a goodbye to characters and then gave us a peek into the future for himself and maybe JUST MAYBE a bit more story for the characters of this cycle.

But still! It was a lot for me to get through, and I ended up finally putting the kindle down with glazed and teary-eyes at about 5-ish, and started my nightly roll-around for an hour until I could finally find a good spot and sleep. I thought I saw some weak rays peeking through my blinds, but I shut my eyes real tight and hunkered down.

Now I believe I’ve encountered the reader’s coma. No, I’m not somehow typing this with my mind or relaying it through telepathy to somebody. I’m not prone, but I sure as feel like I should be. I woke up with a sore throat and a clogged nose (more clogged than normal) and a budding sinus-headache. I guess I was asking for it. I did reach the end of the semester unscathed by sickness, but DAMN right on the peak of my break? It might have been the almost all-nighter with my kindle (without my glasses, bad sign!).

I’m dubbing it reader’s coma. The series has ended, the characters you love and hated are moving on and you don’t get to be with them, and now it’s time to burrow down into another series.Quick! Before reality sets in!

I panicked a little last night and ran through some series firsts that might be able to fill the space left by Inheritance. Cinda Williams Chima’s Heir series sounded promising. It seemed much like Inheritance but branched out a little. But too soon! Too soon. Too close and too soon. I couldn’t get more than a chapter in. I’ll come back to it with renewed ferver at a later time, Ms. Chima, I will.

I also tried Laurell K. Hamilton’s Anita Blake series (there are TWENTY of those mofos. 20?!). But I just couldn’t stomach another sardonic narrator and any more vampires. I had to stop at the vampire strip club. Maybe another time. When we’re not all juiced up on fangbanging.

And now I think I must return to GRRM. I was in the middle of A Storm of Swords earlier this year, and for some reason had to put it down (most likely for school) and then I think one of my cats knocked the book over and the bookmark fell out. I must have lost the courage then. I hear from other fans and sources that I’m about to stumble into the “Red Wedding”, and from what I hear I am not too enthusiastic.

BUT. I will do it. I think this is the right step. Albeit, it is a long and fearful drop from the easy-fantasy of Inheritance. (Things will ALWAYS work out, against insurmountable odds. What a bastard Galbatorix was, huh?)

It will be bloody. I might cry. But the panic is settling down now. I can go forth! (Hesitantly…) into Westeros again.

Wish me luck.

Semester’s End

Whew!

I took my last sit-down final today for Shakespeare (later plays). I hate to jinx myself but I feel pretty good about it! Tomorrow I go for my last creative nonfiction class and I’m out.

Let the reading marathon commence! Also, I will finally be able to unwrap Skyrim and settle into a video game stupor.

Overall, this semester has been a great one. I made some awesome new friends, worked my freakin’ butt off, and actually learned a lot of shit (I know, right? Who’d have thunkit?)

I know I’ve neglected my baby blog, but I promise I’m sure to have more to say in the coming weeks. It’s Christmas! There’s so much to complain about.

See ya’ll on the other side!

Upcoming (Mis)Adventures

I have a few recipes in mind for the upcoming week and will try them soon, but I thought I’d share a couple of laughs and musings with ya’ll before I really get started on them (Or: Before things really get out of hand).

Last night I made some honey-glazed chicken and bacon bites. These things are freakin’ awesome and they aren’t time consuming. If you’re like me you cringe when you have to touch raw chicken (ugh) …but I got past it for these.

What’s even worse is you have to wrap the bacon around the chicken strips. And let me tell you, handling two pieces of slippery meat and trying to put them together is no easy task. I have a gutter-mind and as I was trying to accomplish this it was almost too much for me. The jokes just write themselves, eh?

I also made mashed taters (that turned out lumpy even though I used the potato pusher thingy, I forget what it’s called) and some cheddar biscuits. Chicken, bacon, cheddar biscuits, and taters. I know you think I’m asking for heart failure, but you didn’t taste this shit.

For this week I’m going to try:

  • Comeback Sauce – My first thoughts on this one were, oh it’s the sauce that’s making a comeback aha!. Then, after reading about it, I readjusted that thought to, OH I get it. You “comeback” for the sauce. The name aside, I’m hoping it tastes like Chick-Fil-A sauce, which is crack to me now. (I used to be crazy about the nuggets themselves, now they’re just sauce-boats.)
  • Peanut Butter Balls, or Buckeyes – I think people get a little peeved by the naming of these…that they aren’t named properly or some such thing. Names, again. Yeesh. Anywho, seems simple enough, but again the recipe has things in lbs. and when I see that I die a little inside. I never have things in quantities of pounds, and I can’t get away with hiding them sufficiently enough when there are so goddamn many of them. I’ll cut the recipe and see. I have to make a trip to the store anyway, for cake paraffin wax. Already I know I’m in trouble.
  • And finally, Toasted Ravioli and Marinara – Easy peasy recipe, but there’s frying in oil involved. That’s when things get risky around here. I’m looking forward to this one the most I think.

Hopefully this week will allow for this much (mis)adventure baking, but we’ll see. Doctor’s appt (the girly kind), Shakespeare midterm, and so much reading are the big hitters this week.

Til’ then!

(Mis)Adventures in DIY

I found this 2 ingredient recipe for pore/acne strips, to replace the Biore ones you find at the drugstore. It’s been on my reading list bar for a while now so I decided to try it tonight. (After my dad had gone to bed so he couldn’t make fun of my glass mask face.)

Pretty simple.

2 ingredients: unflavored gelatin and milk. Best DIY ever, eh?

I thought, alright! I’m on board! But little did I know. The blogger has step by step pictures of her in the process. It looks innocent enough.

I mixed the concoction, microwaved for a bit, and set to slappin’ it on. Mind you — it stinks! Warm milk and unflavored jelly stuff, not a good smell. Maybe lime would have been better. Then again she doesn’t advise that.

So I slathered it on, nasty smell and all, and then waited. About 10 minutes in I’m feeling all breaky-face. I try to talk and feel like my skin is cracking (this can’t be a good sign). Time’s up! Let’s get to peeling.

This should be fun, right? It was like peeling dead skin, which you know, we all love. (No really, I know you like it. Everyone’s had a bad sunburn.)

It started out okay, but then I got to my cheek. Oh lordy was that not fun. Like peeling tape from a wound. The blogger mentions that this leaves your skin feeling baby soft, and after what I went through it was surprisingly close to… If you consider having baby skin meaning that you have a whole new layer after peeling the first one off! My skin is still tingling and red as I write this.

Her face, however, looks conspicuously free of redness and her eyes tearless. I finally just scrubbed the rest off with warm water and a washcloth.

It was a fun venture if you count pain part of the party. My face does have a nice soft feel after I gave it some moisturizer. Now, I know that these kinds of things are different from everyone, but I feel like I should have at least had a warning that the peelage would be painful.

God forbid, don’t get it in your eyebrows. I lost a few key hairs there.

Ridiculous Pinterest

I just had to blog about this…so bear with me while I ponder the ridiculousness of some pinterest pins.

It’s a free for all when you hit the “everything” button, and lots of them are repeats, but one thing remains the same. You never know what some people come up with.

I just saw a photography post on a cute baby photo…in a bowl of cereal. The description was to have a photo with the baby and the food you craved the most during that pregnancy.

Cute idea, right? Maybe if you had really pretty food for cravings. If you have ever been around a pregnant woman though, you would know that this is seldom the case.

My sister had cravings for barbecue and potatoes during her first pregnancy. I’m not sure how that photoshoot would go down.

So seriously, I get the whole DIY every imaginable thing. Maybe this idea works for somebody (the chick with the froot loops addiction…).

I’m keeping my eye out for more ridiculous pinterest pins. I’m sure it won’t be long.

Adventures in Baking: The first of many to come!

Recently I discovered Pinterest, thanks to my sister (who has to retain her sanity somehow, alone at the house with two little boys) and it’s got me acting all nest-y and stuff. Even though I have no reason to “nest” or anything like that.

Pinterest, as I see it, is a site that lets you bookmark stuff without actually bookmarking it on your browser. Pinterest has “boards” that you “pin” stuff to while adhering to certain categories and such. Most of my pins are food and clothes. It seems a popular place for brides to pin favorite wedding ideas and things. Young moms and teachers are also popular there. Really it’s a veritable wealth of DIY and pretty things. Some are a bit thinspo and fitness-y, which I ignore…but whatever.

That being said, I have a huge food board. Lots of recipes from people who take mouthwatering pictures of their food and blog about the recipe step by step. There isn’t a healthy dish on that board and if it so happens to be healthy I will find a way to change it, believe me.

What I find though is that with many of these recipes the quantity is set to feed an army (I picture their stereotypical husband and three kids with vacuums for mouths) or are for parties that they throw with their equally stereotyped friends. That’s fine and all guys. I can halve and quarter to my hearts content. The downside of doing so is that it doesn’t always turn out they way the pretty picture looks. (Yeesh, with their fancy cameras, how could it?)

It’s funny actually how much I end up screwing everything. For instance, take the iced coffee recipe. Seems simple and all when you read through and feast your eyes on the photo-ops, but for someone in a small town with not all the necessary items or containers (ugh) it’s not all coffee-colored-rainbows and caffeine-butterflies.

The recipe calls for 8 (fucking eight) quarts of water and a whole bag of coffee. Jesus, this woman is an addict was my first thought. No problem though…just half it. Easy-peasy.

It has to steep overnight or 8 hours? Alllrighty then. So much for instant gratification. Too bad I forgot about it the next day, sitting on the counter in a huge jug…liquid gold! After a while I began to wonder if there was such a thing as cold-brewing for too long. Shit, I don’t know these things. I don’t even order iced coffee at Starbucks! (I’m a passion tea lemonade gal, myself)

Welp. I have to strain it. Calls for a fine strainer and some cheesecloth. Wtf, cheesecloth? Long ago I thought this stuff was actually made from cheese. Would make the coffee taste a leeetle different, yes? Of course, none in sight at my local walmart or any other grocery/kitchen/whatever store. That’s all good…because coffee filters! Yes!

No. Because the container I was straining into didn’t hold the little strainer I had well, and the coffee filters made for sloooow going. Too late, I realized I could have transferred the unstrained liquid to the other container which did fit the strainer, but I was already a third of the way through. (I sabotage myself frequently) So I had to stand over the two containers slowly feeding the coffee through bits at a time. Needless to say I pulled up and chair and the mom and I discussed romance novels.

Wasn’t a bad experience after all. The next morning I was so excited and raring to go try my coffee. Since I hate having the little sugar granules or other such sugar substitute floating at the bottom of the coffee not quite mixed it (which inevitably leads to a SUPER SWEET last few sips) I decided to use sweetened condensed milk. I see those words and I say it in Mary from the movie Mary and Max’s voice. If you haven’t seen that movie you really should.

Oh by the way SCM doesn’t like to mix with coffee either. I got little pearls of it with each sip of cold coffee. The mom had a great idea and just frothed it up with a hand mixer and we added some chocolate and BAM MUH’FUCKAS a vanilla mocha coffee thingy! Success! I can’t really enjoy it on my early hour drive to school though…because. erm. it’s coffee ya know? (Sets things in motion, if you get my drift)

Stay tuned for more of me being stupid with recipes. And some truly successful ones, I promise.

Here’s the recipe I tried.

Pretty, isn't it?

Small step for me…not that much of a giant leap for anyone else.

But it’s a step! For me! Tis good!

Remember that annoying freshman girl I ranted about a couple of weeks ago?

Weeeel. Let’s just say I got a bit tired of her. To the point that I’ve wanted to just haul off and slap her. I wouldn’t really do it, but oh goodness it would surprise her.

Today we were watching a movie to go along with the book it’s written from. I happen to enjoy this movie and the book, so I wanted to actually watch it. She came in today and immediately popped some gum in her mouth, started chewing away, and turned to her new BFF to run her mouth. Class hadn’t even started so no big, right?

I didn’t want to wait. I made a decision that for me was monumental. I don’t like confrontation, so me getting up and moving away from her to another seat in the class was, to me, the equivalent to really hauling off and slapping her. We had started out okay, right? But there comes a point when I don’t want to “share” notes, listen to incessant meaningless chatter, or hear something roll around in your mouth noisily, for an hour. (Speaking of “sharing” notes, she didn’t ask if she could. She would blah blah blah very disrespectfully to the class and professor and then lean over and copy what I had on my computer if she had noticed I’d written something. Fucking made me MAD, ya’ll.)

It was a big step guys, because instead of wallowing in my indecision or listening to the mean voice in my head that tells me to DEAL WITH IT, I made a conscious decision and followed through. Yay! I gathered up my computer and bag and moved on down the row.

I know she was looking at me going, um wtf? And I’m sure I was a part of their whispering for a while, but honestly, I didn’t feel bad. At all. I didn’t feel like I had done something wrong. I felt AWESOME. I fixed my problem.

And to hell with her if she had a problem with it.

You know when people say they don’t give a fuck? And you think, psh yeah I’m sure you at least give a little bit of a fuck. Well this was my moment in which I literally had no fucks to give. There were none there, and so none were given.

It felt great! Now I don’t have to dread this class anymore.

Victory!

Firsts and Lasts in life

For a writing assignment in my creative nonfiction class, we have to come up with 5 or so “firsts” and the same amount of “lasts”. The obvious firsts that I think of (first/last sexual experience, kiss, car, college class, boyfriend, break-up) are pretty standard, and I’m having a hard time coming up with anything more thoughtful.

I immediately jotted down my first real “college” party. It was notable mainly because it was a party I attended in which everyone was around the same age as I, yet I was the only one in college. That was definitely an event I can write about…mainly focusing on the hostility of others towards my status.

First and last car accident (I’ve had 4, I think…ranging from no damage to totaled)…those should be interesting.

I’m definitely not writing about first or last sexual experiences…there was nothing special about those, honestly!

The assignment is to recreate the scene/event for each (chosen) first and last, and then to give it the “so what?” factor, which is where the insight or purpose of writing will come through.

I have a week to do this, but I’d prefer to get it over with. Plus I’m finding that maybe I need to be more introspective about the events in my own life. I’m journaling this semester, “for real for real”, which is the term for serious business, guise. Our professor said that if we filled up a journal a month (about 3 journals) that we’d get extra credit. Can’t complain with that, can I? The notebook size is our choice and I’m not chickening out, so I got some standard composition notebooks (100 pages). Seems honest, yes?

Does anyone have any suggestions for broad topic firsts and lasts?